Monday, June 2, 2008

I have been working on another website this week and I've neglected this one in the process. Uggh! I wish I had a better "balance" control. Too often, I'm all or nothing.

I have been working on a family website. Uploading the photos I've scanned and scanning more. In that process, I have come against 2 major questions. The first, exactly how much photo repair should I make to these old photos and then, how to save those changes. Should I alter old photos at all? I'm not talking about appearance overhauls... because that I just won't do that (well, except maybe to myself.) I'm mostly talking about cropping, repairing tears, wrinkles, lighting etc. Should I keep both the original file & the "altered" one? Needless to say, my hard drive is filling up quickly.

The second question is more philosophical. Should you stir all this up when someone is dying? I can write about this now while my blogging is certainly unknown to my almost all of my family... Is this the right time for looking back & remembering while that person is still here or is it just too painful to stir it up and should we continue in our denial of the inevitable? Being the kind of girl who rides her emotions kind of like a bike without brakes sometimes, it seems to me a good time to look back before it's too late for that person to know how you feel. But I come from a family that, for the most part, feels very differently. They believe that when dealing with emotions you should always use your brakes!
You know, really, I have 3 questions (of course, I have questions)... what the heck is wrong with me that I feel the need to hold onto these photos & memories (many of which aren't even mine)?
The photo above is both set of my grandparents at my parents' wedding.
frame by Nancy Comlab


  1. Whoooaaaa. I don't even know where to begin with this one. Questions, questions, questions... You've always had an endless supply of them - and none of them easy to answer. And, as always, do you really expect an answer or is it just your way of working it out in your head? Because, really, I haven't known the answers since WAY before "what's inside this pea?"

    I think it's amazing that you are working on a family website. And considering that I'm the only reader on this website, I think that you can easily put this one on the back burner though, I must admit, sometimes it's the high point of my day just to read what you have written. As for stirring the emotional pot - I think that just to know that someone IS dying begins the painful memories part. No need to wait till they are gone... If you believe in the inevitability, then the actual death is just relief and release. The worst part is the waiting. But finding someone in this family to partake in emotional stew with you is difficult - denial is not just a river in Egypt, but a residence in Cherry Hill. And I know, too, that, way too often, it resides in Medford also.

    I am thankful that you "ride your emotions like a bike with no brakes." (OH-MY-GOD!!, that is a GREAT line!!!!) You are a reality check for the emotions that are handcuffed, blindfolded, stuffed in a locked trunk and submerged in a large tank of water. And, truly, I am thankful for that.

    Ain't nothin' wrong with you, baby.
    (That's the answer to question 3.) You have an amazing gift - something really special that no one else in this family has. You chronicle and record and journalize and sentamentalize (is that a word?) and create special memories for us all. You know and remember details and specifics about all of us now and all of our relatives that are gone. You remember things about my kids that I don't even remember. That's scary. You love all those family things and you love them openly - and celebrate them - and that's the special gift.

    Okay, enough blubbering... my keyboard is slippery. I have two questions myself... When do I get to view this family website? And about appearance overhauls - Can I count on you to publish only extremely flattering or digitally enhanced photos of me - or do I have to blow your blog cover?

  2. Oh, one more thing. Have you noticed that no one looks quite happy in that photo except for Grampa? HMMM...